I know, I know, it is just a shorter version of a video I posted recently that had me losing my mind aptly called the
“Break From Reality.” But, being the attention whore I am, I figured I would do my due diligence to drive traffic to it anyways. Is it wrong to judge self worth on video views? Surely.
This clip is NSFW – which means NOT safe for work. It is part of my series called, “Repeating Things Until People Laugh at Them.” Think Peanut Butter Boy. If this clip is any indication of the direction of my comedy, plan on seeing me a lot less in your local comedy clubs, at least until I get famous. So, yeah, plan on seeing me less.
The first installment of “Life on the Road,” which will chronicle the strange, annoying and/or random shit that happens to me and hundreds of other comedians as they travel this strip mall country of ours to tell jokes. All comedians share many common experiences even if their comedic styles differ vastly. The purpose of this series will not be to show how unique or original I handle all these situations, in fact, I do not. It is simply to give people who wonder what we do or what our life is like a small peek inside mine. Some of these experiences are incredibly fantastic and others are painstakingly soul-torturing.
One such soul-torturing experience is the bachelorette party. It is as if the majority of women in this world were born in a Walmart and have no idea how to uniquely celebrate an impending marriage. Not to be unnecessarily cruel or mean, but over 90% of bachelorette parties are the most bland, unexciting and pitiful events known to mankind. At least what I have experienced of them. I know these women mean well, but at the end of the day the one thing you have to remember is: nobody gives a fuck that you are getting married, for reals. In fact, I would be willing to bet that half of the women in the party do not give a fuck. And a small percentage of the time, the bride-to-be doesn’t give a fuck. Point is, do not go to a comedy club and think that the show should be about you.
If you need further evidence at how unoriginal and bland you are, look around the room. Chances are there is another bachelorette party at the same show. What does that tell you? Please do not be fooled by the following video, I am in no way truly enjoying this experience. I put on the happy face and pretend to like it and like you only because I have not been paid yet. If it was Sunday night and my check was already in my pocket, I most likely would have verbally assaulted you in a way only becoming of a 13th century henchman.
Cue inner critic: “Well, Ryan? Don’t you think instead of catering to the bachelorette parties in the crowd and reinforcing their behavior to them and to the others witnessing the event, you should regardless of your financial situation behave like a true artist and and either ignore them or as you said, ‘verbally assault’ them? It in fact, is pretty hacky what you are doing, wouldn’t you agree?”
Me: “Fuck off.”
Because at the end of the day, the jokes that I would like to think I work hard at crafting, even if they aren’t mind-blowingly original, will be more interesting than the most interesting thing you may happen to say in the audience that night. Again, not to be a dick, but I get paid to talk. At least in this environment. Let’s roll the tape…
I am pleased to announce that after a few hours I have figured out how to sell the new t-shirt online through this site. The price is slightly more due to shipping and convenience (not going to lie, going to post office will cost you), but still reasonable for high quality shirt at only $20 in Medium, Large and X-Large. You can click on the picture to go to the purchase page:
P.S. As you can tell this t-shirt will make any person better looking exponentially. It will also make you appear to be more intelligent.
P.P.S. Any increase of your attractivness or intelligence are purely coincidental to the purchase of this t-shirt as this t-shirt has not been crafted by witches or elves possessing magical powers.
P.P.P.S. But, for reals, it will make you a better person when you are wearing it.
Here is the latest version of “The History of America” bit that I do. People have asked for a better quality version, so here it is! This was filmed at Skyline Comedy Cafe in Appleton, Wisconsin, in May. The image attached to this post was from the original animation I had done.
I am currently working on developing the joke into something fun and exciting. I have reached the point where I realize that the only thing you have in this business is what you can create, your ideas. Knowing this, I am going to hold as steady as I can in only developing these ideas, stand up comedy performance or other in remaining true to maintaining the quality and purity of the idea. Of course this means that non-traditional routes to be able to see them or enjoy them may have to be used. I am comfortable with that.
Another installment of “A Quickie With Singer,” bite sized chunks of my comedy for all you folks out there with no attention spans. All of these “Quickies” are right around one to two minutes in lenght, so feel free to not rearrange your whole schedule to try to get your fix of my stand up. I know that is quite and assumption that you may rely or be addicted to my comedy when I referred to it as a “fix.” This one was filmed @ Skyline Comedy Cafe in Appleton, Wisconsin.
I will continue to try and post new clips on a somewhat regular basis without putting my whole entire act online. If you ever see me live and in person I imagine there are some jokes you would like to not know. Maybe I am wrong? Okay, you’ve convinced me to just put the whole act up now. See what you have done? I hope you are proud of yourself.
I will editing and posting soon some video footage of when I was driving for 12 hours straight with no radio. Tentatively entitled, “One Man’s Descent into Madness.” In the meantime, I hope you enjoy this clip!
Also, the picture with this post is my tshirt, which will be available shortly for purchase through this website.
Yes, this is very self-serving indeed. I am trying in a very unsuccessful most of the time kind of way to take more pictures and have a better documentation of life for all the children and grandchildren I am not going to have. So, if you have any photos that involve me in any way what-so-ever, please email them to me: firstname.lastname@example.org
The website is coming along slowly, but it is getting better I think. I will unfortunately be unable to upload a full length comedy cd to the site as I do not have “permission” or it is “too big” a file. I will see what I can do to change that as I want to post some video of some of the cartoons that have been rejected by Hollywood suits without putting them up on youtube.
I will be donating my body to science very soon and I am excited. People say, “but they will be giving you pills to take and you won’t know what they really are!” Yes, this is true. But, keep in mind I used to pay people to take unknown pills and now I will be paid to do so. Seems like a good trade to me. Here is a photo of one of my first film loves, Patricia Arquette. Coincidentally, her sister is somewhat of a muse to many musicians.
This will be a new series of comedy, although some would argue that title. Some of these videos will have to be hidden as they will be way too offensive for even those who think themselves very open minded. But, if you are truly sick and twisted, you will be able to find the hidden videos on this site. Enjoy the first installment!
Here is some of my artwork that I draw when I am bored at home or on the road. It came to me in a vision of mediocrity one night staring at the ceiling, unable to sleep. This is not an uncommon occurrence for me.