I am bigger than the Beatles

I am showing you a few photos that will prove once and for all, finally, that I am bigger than the Beatles. Move on over Oasis, Ryan Singer now sits atop your throne of ultra-awesomeness. You do not believe me? Then look at the following evidence:

Still not convinced?  Or maybe you do not understand what you are looking at?  Here is the part of the photo you should be focusing on:

itunesinblogcut

itunespopular

Do you see why I am right?  Every track on this album is “popular” with the exception of mine.  My comedy is SO damned good there are not enough popularity bars to even visually represent it largeness and ultra-awesomeness.  Now, that is impressive, Oasis.  Needless to say, I will be retiring early and living off of my royalty checks.

My comedy schedule is somewhat updated if you want to check it out here.

Under the Rock – #2

If you are like me, you like to lift up rocks and see what is hiding underneath of them. Often times, a whole new world you never would have known existed lies there, begging to be further examined. Think of the world of stand up comedy as a giant rock, with all the comics you know by name resting atop that rock. Well, underneath this comedy rock, there are brilliant and unknown joke telling creatures that will blow your mind and take your imagination on a trip only rivaled by a strong cup of mushroom tea.

I know most of you are too busy to stop and turn this rock over by yourself, so I am going to do it for you. You may already know some of these comedians, but we can just chalk that up to you being an astute comedy fan.  You will have your hands full trying to absorb all you can about the next two creatures I am showing you that live “Under the Rock.” It won’t be long before they, too are atop the rock.

Andi Smith – I get tired, I get down and I get a little indignant from time to time. But, I know I always can count on the dark and brilliant mind of Andi to make me laugh at all the horrible bullshit around me. If you think women cannot be funny, I’ve got news for you – you’re wrong and Andi will tell you you’re wrong. Not only will she tell, she will prove it by dropping some of the best jokes you will hear and then force them down your close-minded throat. If you like comedy that is real, even too real for the common, strip mall comedy club patron, you will thank me if you’ve never heard her stuff. Enjoy.

Hannibal Burress – Check Hannibal out and you will be reminded that yes, stand up comedy is still an artform and there are still people out there doing it for the love. There are easy ways to the top and there are the longer, round about ways to the top of this game and everyone Under the Rock takes the round about way. The round about way is the unrelenting, stay true to yourself way and Hannibal could be the poster boy for it. Some comics make you feel like you’re watching a tennis match with all the movement on stage, Hannibal sits back and lets the words do the talking. His comedy is like lethal injection, not the electric chair…and it kills.

A Quicky With Singer – “The Man Kiss”

This is the meat and potatoes of the latest Phillip Dan and Dewey clip.  When I say meat and potatoes, I mean it is the juicy, delicious, sensational, extravagant, ridiculous, and potentially grand moment of the longer version, the Director’s Cut.  I hope you enjoy it as much as I do.

“The Man Kiss”

What people cannot tell by watching this video is what actually happened at the end of it. As “Dewey” played by Ryan Fohl, jumped into my arms as he was open-mouth kissing me, I accidentally bit his lip and injured him. But, that is not the only way I injured him because as he jumped in my arms, my back went out and as you can tell, I drop him on the ground. His fall was broken by a monitor, the speaker on the stage in the middle of his back. It is amazing that he could walk off the stage. What we do for comedy…

Phillip Dan & Dewey – “They Are Alive!”

Phillip Dan & Dewey come alive like never before in this new video!  I should warn you not to watch this at work as it is NSFW, Not Safe For Work…for reals.  But, if you have a really cool boss who needs to be educated on taking a chill pill and possibly even becoming a fan of stand up comedy (read: fan of my stand up comedy) than you should tell him/her that if you can watch this video at work I will get you all free tickets to my next comedy show in your area.  That is no joke, I am all about giving people and their bosses free tickets to bring them closer together.

If you think you have seen this bit and nothing new can be gleemed from watching this clip, I assure you that you could not further from the truth.  Trust me when I write that the payoff should be well worth your invested time.  I value the time you spend watching videos and/or reading blogs and things on my website very much (I am hoping that there actually is someone who does that as I write this).  I know that in today’s technology age where EVERYONE thinks they have ADD or ADHD that your time is precious, I promise this video will not be wasting it.

Enjoy the newest installment of “Phillip Dan & Dewey Director’s Cut – “They Are Alive!”

Didn’t Know I Was High?

It is 5:13 am and I am not going to lie, I am wide the fuck awake!  I could not be more awake right now if I was really awake (side note:  my favorite thing to do is to make asinine statements or comparisons that only compare to themselves).

As I sit here and wonder about my supposedly “high blood pressure” and try to figure out what that means, I ponder what it is that makes people do anything in this world.  Why am I driven to be in this business?  Whatever reason it is, there is no turning back now.  I guess technically, there is turning back, but I choose not to do that.  This is the world some people thing I am living in and what they assume I must look like.  This picture is defined as “clown” which is a word used in the definition of a comedian in Webster’s dictionary, “…a clown.”

I am not going to lie to you, there are some pretty cool things happening in the world of comedy and I am lucky enough to be a part of some of them.  So, no complaints from me in that area.  Sure, I could complain about not working enough, but guess who is in charge of that?  Me.  What?  Am I going to yell at myself for being a shitty booker?  No, because I hate the bullshit business side of it all and as long as I am able to eat and survive, good job me.  Now, I just need to get one of these things to pat myself on the back more easily:

When I was a kid I wanted to tell jokes on tv.  I will someday.  I am not sure when that day is, but I know it is coming and everyday that passes becomes one more day closer to that day.  Do I need a huge audience and hundreds of people to read this blog?  No.  Do I dream of a day when people adore me and wait with bated breath for my next interweb update?  No.

Am I writing this blog right now because it is better than refolding all my clothes in my closet? Possibly.  Is it better than lying in bed, staring at the ceiling wondering why I cannot sleep? More than likely.  It definitely is better than watching some bullshit on tv.

I will tell you this…I recently had an audition for the Comedy Central Show “Live at Gotham.”  Thanks to a buddy of mine who got me on the show and it was a great experience.  If you are wondering what jokes I did, here’s the set list in this exact order:

1.  It likes to drink
2. Tyra Banks is my nemesis
3. The History of America

The set was to be 7 minutes long and I believe I came in right at that time. I drew the dreaded first slot on the show, which I did not mind because in my opinion it is better to be first than 20th on a long show like that. Jokes are jokes and funny is funny no matter where or when in the show you go. A good friend of mine recently asked/accused me of “sabotaging” my career with my joke choice of “It” as the first joke I told. He said that obviously because the people of Columbus stared at me when I told it.

I think of it as the complete opposite of sabotage though.  I think of it as a carefully planned and executed strategy that will ultimately culminate in me being as true to my sense of humor as I can be and subsequently portraying that to the masses via a comedy program on television.  In the end, we all win with this because I will be continuing on that path to be the best comedian I can be and the people will hopefully enjoy that hard work and honesty.

At the end of the day, I am not concerned with when I get on tv. However, I am very concerned with what I get on tv with. That make sense? Not to sound like a hard-ass or delusional, but I am not going to be on tv if it means telling the jokes I do not want to tell. It is not that I dislike these other jokes, but I will only tell the jokes I want to tell and if that means I am not on tv as quickly as I could have been, so be it. No sweat off my back. I am completely bought into the idea that what you put out in the universe to represent you will over time become the foundation of who it is you are. Here are two quotes that I have combined into one from Buddha and Upanishad:

“We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts we make the world. As a man acts, so does he become. As a man’s desire is, so is his destiny.”

That sums up perfectly how I feel about my comedy career. As soon as I finish this blog, I am going to sit and think about all that it is that I want. Not so much that I want it, as much as I am going to have it. Keep in mind I could wake up tomorrow and realize that I am missing out on my life’s calling to be a wicker chair weaver and move to some artsy community to be an understudy of some old man who has worn hands and a beautiful granddaughter.

Who knows? If she looks like Patricia Arquette circa “True Romance” count me in.


Me on CD! Seriously…

Hey, everybody if you are interested in owning some of my comedy stylings on compact disc device, then your prayers have been answered!  I have 2 tracks on the Rooftop Comedy Silver Nails CD – Underground Comedians of 2009.  It is pretty cool to be selected to be on the cd with some other great comics that you have not heard of yet.  I am putting the link at the bottom and you have to use itunes if you want to buy the cd or my tracks.  I am almost like halfway officially mainstream now, right?

http://itunes.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewGenre?id=3

Under the Rock

If you are like me, you like to lift up rocks and see what is hiding underneath of them.  Often times, a whole new world you never would have known existed lies there, begging to be further examined.  Think of the world of stand up comedy as a giant rock, with all the comics you know by name resting atop that rock.  Well, underneath this comedy rock, there are brilliant and unknown joke telling creatures that will blow your mind and take your imagination on a trip only rivaled by a strong cup of mushroom tea.

I know most of you are too busy to stop and turn this rock over by yourself, so I am going to do it for you.  You may already know some of these comedians, but we can just chalk that up to you being an astute comedy fan.  This will be the first of many installments, but trust me when I say that no matter how long it is until the next one, you will have your hands full trying to absorb all you can about the first two creatures I am showing you that live “Under the Rock.”  It won’t be long before they, too are atop the rock.

Mary Mack –   I dare you to try to wrap your brain around a “technique” or “formula” that Mary uses in her comedy, because you will not be able to do so.  Not one word is contrived or forced, it all just flows.  Just sit back and enjoy some of the best and most original comedy you have heard in awhile.  And I should warn you that you set aside plenty of time in your morning, day or night to watch her “Coffee Blogs” because once you watch the first one, you are in for the long haul.

Tim Northern –   There is not a whole helluva lot of stuff out there written on Tim if you are interested in knowing what goes behind his joke writing madness even though you will want to know more after seeing him, but there are clips a-plenty out there for you to view if you love some of the most intelligent comedy on the planet.  Do not misunderstand me though, when I say intelligent, I do not mean boring and “trying to change your mind” on issues and shit.  If Einstein and the word “silly” had a baby, that baby would be named Tim Northern.

Comic’s Comic Award Acceptance Speech

This is my acceptance speech for the award of “Comic’s Comic” at the 2009 Rooftop Comedy Festival in Aspen, Colorado. I was unable to attend the festival even though the higher-ups at rooftopcomedy.com begged and pleaded with me to break my prior engagement to be there. But, they were gracious enough and quite frankly who could blame them, to send a video crew to my location so I could accept this prestigious, dare I say the BEST AWARD EVER in the history of comedy live via satellite.

Once again, i would just like to say what an honor it was to be nominated with all of my very best friends in comedy: Robert Hawkins, Eddie Gossling, Chad Daniels, and Andi Smith. I am sure we will all get a kick out of this years from now when we are all drinking bloody mary’s poolside as our kids play together. And don’t worry gang, there’s always next year!

“A Break From Reality” – Episode #2

Here is another break from reality as Phillip Dan talks about how much he loves The Logical Song by Supertramp.  It could have easily been filed under the “Phillip Dan & Dewey Director’s Cut Series, but it was more of a ‘break’ than it was a ‘joke’ in this particular case. Watch and you’ll see what I mean.

This was filmed @ Morty’s Comedy Joint in Indianapolis.  This was a lot of fun for me…not sure about everybody else.