Can you believe our little comedy shorts festival is going to the big screen?  Well, we are!  I am pleased to announce we are joining forces with the FilmDayton Festival this year, August 24th at the Neon Theater in downtown Dayton.  We are going to be on the big screen and it will be the best incarnation yet.  I am really thrilled that we have teamed up with them and this is getting bigger than I ever really imagined and that is great stuff.  We will screen on Friday night and I’ll have more details as we get closer.

Do you want to have one of your shorts showcased?  Here’s the submission details:

Funny.  Any video that is funny.  Under 5 minutes.  Under 5 minutes and funny.  All submissions must be received by August 6th, 2012.  FREE.  I must have the physical copy or digital copy of your short by 8/6 and NO LATER in the following formats:  .mov or .mp4.  The process of screening and compiling these shorts is time consuming, so I need at least 2 1/2 weeks to be in front of it all.  RECAP:  Under 5 minutes, FUNNY, in my hands by 8/6/12.  The higher quality the better, but remember that if something is funny, that trumps all else.  ALL else.

Those are the only rules.  The time limit is so we can showcase as many videos by as many filmmakers as we can in the 90 minute time frame.  90 minutes is the best length of time for a comedy and much consideration goes into building this 90 minute collective of shorts to build and provide a unique and hilarious viewing experience.

I will accept yousendit.com, dropbox, and other file transfer services at the email:  ryanjsinger@hotmail.com

Or you can mail submissions on Data DVD to:

Ryan Singer
1133 Justin Ave.
Apt. 115
Glendale, CA 91201

Flick My Clip started as an attempt to unite the creative forces and minds of stand up comedians and filmmakers in the Southern Ohio area.  It seemed like a natural fit and has proven to be just that so far.  The number of creative forces and minds in this area is immense and this comedy shorts festival is a great way for these forces to unite and collide.  The local talent is the focus and the outside contributors are a unique way to get introduced to the creative minds working hard outside the local frame of comedic reference.

Just for more clarification about the types of videos we will consider:  anything that you have filmed and edited that you think is funny can be submitted.  Including the pilots of web series, individual episodes of web series that are stand alone funny, music videos, spoofs, sketches, anything.  I am not going to be actively looking for copyright violations, so please try your best to submit only original works.  But, we are not that corporate or mainstream and I can appreciate the guerilla style filmmaker.  Just make people laugh.

Facebook event page if you like to follow along there ==> http://www.facebook.com/events/359307320800768/

I am genuinely excited and looking forward to watching each and every submission for this year’s festival.  So, on behalf of myself and the fine folks at FilmDayton, thanks in advance for sharing your creativity, hard work, and willingness to be a participant.  -  Ryan Singer

That’s right, you read that correctly.  I was interviewed by a journalist over in Poland who writes for the site www.laugh.pl.  We used that magical portal of voice known as Skype and did it that way.  I am going to keep my insecurities and pet-peeves about myself to myself and post the interview here ( Ryan_Singer_2012 ) and you can listen to it if that sounds like something interesting to you.  Or you can click on the above link or the photo up top to go to the page where its housed.  Who uses the term “housed” when referring to this stuff?

It was an interesting interview and I had fun talking to my new friend,  Marcin from Poland (sorry, I lost the place where you had your last name listed as I’m a bastard).

My name is Ryan Singer and I’m from the United States.  I’m an American.

I have A LOT of upcoming shows in Los Angeles the next couple months because I am off the road until July as of now.  The new album is being put together as we speak and I think I’m going to like it more than the first one.  I hope you guys do.  I will be recording a DVD this summer and I have really high hopes for it.  It will involve animation and stand up comedy all mixed together, but only have stand up audio.  Make sense?  Probably not.  The venue is still to be determined, but it will be either Dayton or Cincinnati where we will film.

Special shout out to Sue Harmeyer and Adam Collins for achieving R.S.V.P. status by coming out to multiple CD recording shows at Go Bananas!  As of yesterday (5/4/12) I have received word that the cards arrived in the mail and I’ll pick them up when I am back in Ohio in July.  It will be Christmas in July for you guys!

Here is the link ==> CLICK ME! to an episode of the Laughin With You Podcast with Emily Volman and Gerard that I did recently.  I am certain that I have said too much, but in the end that matters zero, let alone little.  I had fun talking to them about a very real thing that has been happening in my life recently and I do believe they have helped me gleam a little insight and guidance on how to further live my life.

At the end of the day, I have no regrets and I was thrilled to get to talk to them as they have had some really awesome guests on the show, including the episode I am on (I am not the only one on this episode, guys).  Just in case you read that as me claiming I was awesome.

So, if you like people being totally open and honest about a problem they are facing in their life, listen to this podcast as it is comedic and the most unique podcasting experience I have ever had.  Thanks for having me on!  Hope you enjoy it.

Also, I am in Los Angeles for the next few months as of right now and I’ll be trying to get up on stage everywhere and anywhere in that time.  So, check the LA Schedule and I should have it updated momentarily.  Also, all kinds of web series galore coming your way from me!  New episodes of DREAMS every Monday morning.

I made a Holiday video greeting card to make sure I can do my best to remind everyone that caring, sharing, and love are the reasons for the season!  Enjoy your holiday and be super safe when traveling.  It is good to be alive and hopefully you can treat each other with kindness.

2011 Holiday Greeting!

A Look Around Occupy Dayton

A lot of exclamation points in this title for no good reason. I do remember recording this podcast and I remember having a ton of fun doing it. These guys are fun to hang out with in general, let alone when the microphones are recording.

Some highlights include me talking trash about someone who wronged me and my firm stance on the War on Pun. I do not normally talk trash about anyone, but his person (who’s name was changed for the broadcast) is a legendary sleeze-bag. If you have any comedy acumen, you will figure it out. But, enough about the negative, there was some fun moments captured I think and I believe you will enjoy it.

Thanks to Brent Terhune, Jeff Oskay, and Matt Holt (who could not be there because he was out having sex with supermodels). You guys made this obscure bastard feel pretty radical. Thanks.

Listen here ====> A lot of Ryan Singer Talking!!!

Tuesday 8/23 at Go Bananas Comedy Club!  Festival begins at 8 pm sharp and doors open at 7 pm.  This is going to be awesome, fun, and babies might be made.

THE LINEUP: (this list is subject to change)

Rent’s Due – Mike Canestaro
Various Entries – Women
Me & My Dolls (episodes) – Ryan Singer
I Didn’t Know I Was Pregnant – Sketch By Number
Ned (episodes) – Mike Shelton
Lobster Boy – Left of Center
Jasper vs. the Woofman – Jasper t. Colbaire
The Adventures of Larry Bird and Michael Jordan In Space – Dean Maiorana & Brian McCabe
We Got That B-Roll – Cream
Connected – Cream
Ballet Drop Out – Left of Center
Axe Body Wash – WATBIT
High On You – The Chronic State
Gay Zombies – Vincent Holliday
Heist – Andy Gaspar
Old Diapers & Hot Soup – Wayne Memmot & Dean Maiorana
Magic 8 Ball – The Asbestos Crew
Henry’s Kitchen – Henry Phillips
The Way To Go – Nick Andrews
The Aggressive Bee – MC Mr. Napkins
Episode #1 of Web Series – Alex Stone & Mike Cronin (tentative)
Parent Teacher Night – The Suburban Housewife
Mo Money Mo Problems – Sumukh Torgalkar & Justin Golak

I’ll be peforming at Woodlands Tavern in Columbus, Ohio on Monday, then off to the Downtown Crackers Wed – Sat of next week.  I’m doing an awesome show put on my buddy Ryan Remmington at the Sinking Ship in Indianapolis, Indiana on Sunday 8/28.  Let’s us all get together and feel all right!

I miss you all very much.  Very, very, very much.  I love you all.  Very, very, very much.

Ryan

My last surviving Grandma died today.  I just have to randomly and publicly write things when death enters or happens in my life.  I am not sure why that is the case, but it seems to happen every time.  I have been fortunate to not have a lot of death until later in my life.  The last year and half is when the death-wave started swelling.  I am 35 years old, so how long could a guy reasonably expect to live before relatives from a huge Irish-Catholic family started passing?

Grandma Jesus has a special place in my heart because she was at least partly responsible for some of the crazy that I hold onto today.  I call her Grandma Jesus, along with some of my other family members because she was as close to being a living saint as you could get.  Between her and my other late Grandma, they were perfect Catholic models of loving and care.  They were exactly as they appeared and that was always comforting on many levels.  When you hear people talk about what Christians “should be” in practice, they were that living embodiment.

I would spend weeks at a time, at least in my memory it seems that way, when I was a kid out at a farm in New Carlisle, Ohio.  That is my where my Grandpa and Grandma Jesus lived.  My brother, sister, and me would do the farm work during the mornings and play around in the afternoons.  I would make chicken coup raids for the next mornings eggs, feed hay to the horses, and then some basic yard work stuff, too.  A lot of times we would go to some church function in the morning and always have Bible readings at night, followed by the rosary or stations of the cross depending on what time of year it was.

These obvious and standard Catholic practices were made all the more intense by the random fringe religious elements talked about before bed.  I heard many a tales of the end times, Jesus returning in her lifetime, great punishments, people with visitations of the Virgin Mary, and other modern day miracles.  I embraced all of these things with an open heart and a more than willing wild imagination.  I became the Peacemaker.  I called myself this.  I think I have written before, but this is the time period I became ridiculously disconnected from reality.  With the help of Grandma Jesus, I had come to believe that I was the next great chosen leader of God and his army.  It went Moses, Jesus, Ryan Singer from Dayton, Ohio.  She told me that it was likely that the Virgin Mary would visit me in my lifetime and that I needed to know what to do.

If she came to in a vision and she was wearing sandals or anything on her feet, then it was Satan pretending to be her.  This was something Satan would do to try and trick religious people into doing bad things.  He could appear as her, but not completely because his power was not limitless like God’s.  If she was barefoot, it was really Mary.  That was how you could always tell.  I have felt uncomfortable wearing sandals to this day.  I am not trying to be funny, but I really refuse to wear them because they make me feel so creepy and uneasy.

These things do not easily get eradicated from one’s brain.  I am thirty-five years old now and would by lying if I said I was free from it all.  But, today the day has come that may finally end it all.  She has died and yet the world remains.  The gates of hell have not opened up, releasing an army of demons to be battled to the eternal death.  All of my fear and some of my hope has been forever put to rest on this day.  I am not trying to trump up the profoundness of this day and what it represents, but for me it is quite monumental.  Anyone raised in a fear-based dogma can attest to the resilience of that fear.

I never did not know of hell.  To the best of my recollection, as long as I have been able to remember things, hell has been there.  It is a foundation memory and knowingness.  Trying to discard this fear could be equated to trying to stop involuntarily blinking.  It just always has and continues to happen.  Sure, there have been many times when I have been able to hold my eyes open for very long periods of time without blinking, but I always end up blinking.  Today may just be the day when I do not have to blink anymore.

I feel like I need to be really clear about something.  This is not something that I have been freed from or of in any way.  I do not feel relieved or grateful that this has happened.  I in no way now or ever have been angry at her or resented her for her beliefs that she passed along to me.  She never had anything but complete and total love for me and everyone else.  Her actions always came from that starting point.  Always.  Please do not make the mistake that have felt burdened by these things.  I do nothing but smile when I think of her.   I, like many other people wish we all could live forever.  At least the people I love.  I am saddened that I could only say good-bye over the phone and not even really commit to it fully.  I am headed to the area I grew up for work in a couple of days and told her that I would see her very soon.  I tried to make her believe that I believed I would see her.  But, it was not meant to be.

At least I will be able to make this funeral.  One downside of being a comedian who travels for work and is extremely poor is that very few gigs am I able to cancel.  So, I have missed most of the funerals and weddings of the last five years or so.  It is weird to write it, but I feel lucky that I will be able to attend this one.  I am not sure if I should feel creepy about that sentence or not.

Grandma Jesus told me about the Virgin Mary and how she was going to appear over New York City on Christmas Eve to issue a warning to all humanity.  This message was to be clear that God would soon be delivering a great punishment, not unlike the Great Flood.  The Peacemaker told everyone at school about it and warned them to repent for their sins.  We were all roughly nine or ten years old, how much sinning could most of us who had not yet discovered masturbation actually be doing.  Original sin!  Yes!  Even at our young and somewhat innocent ages, we needed to know about this need to repent before the end.  It did not happen.

She told me about the diary of an old saint that was found at an archeological site that through visitations of other saints had foretold of events that would happen in the future.  This diary had predicted many things that came to pass years later.  This diary had predicted a great earthquake that was going to shake the earth at its core and greatly reduce the world’s population.  The Peacemaker told his flock at school about this and told them to repent and get pure.  It did not happen.

She told me about the three nuns that were visited by Jesus and given secret messages about the future.  The only message they revealed to the public was that Jesus would come back to earth before the last one of them had died.  They were all in their nineties.  The Peacemaker reported this urgent message of salvation to sinners at his grade school.  It did not happen.

I have discovered a recent phenomenon that a lot of my memories are only memories to me.  What I mean by that is that huge events that I believe have shaped me forever as a person have not been confirmed by the outside people that were also involved or would know about them.  This makes it difficult for me to believe anything from my past is real.  I know these stories like the back of my own hand.  They forged my life in such a permanent and profound way.  Yet, there can be no collaboration.  I know I am not crazy.

When I was very young, me and Grandma Jesus went to a church luncheon at a cafeteria.  I still remember holding my tray and waiting in line.  Sometime after that luncheon, she showed me a miraculous photo from that day.  It was of a couple people waiting in line.  There was a relatively large gap between two of the people, almost like some other person was standing there.  But, there was no person.  However, there was a floating image.  This floating image was clearly the Virgin Mary.  It was her head and just past her neck.  I do not remember what food was being served that day and I am not going to even try to make a “she must have been hungry” or “the casserole must have been heavenly” joke here.  Even though I guess I just kind of did.  Seeing that photo changed my life.  At the time, I thought it would forever cement my belief in God.

I can remember where I was standing when I saw the photo.  I can remember all of the skin on my body trying to jump off my skeleton.  I was overcome with awe.  I was witness to a miracle.  My best guess of the year is that it was somewhere close to 1985.  As I grew older and subsequently away from God, I would go back to the picture in my mind to cling onto hope and belief.  That moment in the kitchen made me believe in God even when I was coked up or wanting to die.  That photo changed me forever.  That photo is not something anyone would forget.

Grandma Jesus did not remember the photo when I asked her about a couple years ago.  This rattled me to the core in almost the opposite way the photo had originally.  She has battled health issues for the last eight or nine years, so her memory was probably not what it used to be.  But, she could recall in great detail the beginnings of her and my Grandpa’s courtship as of ten months ago.  Her memory was not gone.  She was still a sharp mind even though her physical body was failing.  She did not remember seeing the Virgin Mary in a photo.  Would I just make this up?  Did I make it up?  Why?

Some of these things will probably haunt me until the day that I leave this earth.  The Peacemaker has long passed away and so has my memorization of the entire Catholic mass ceremony.  But, my love for Grandma Jesus will not pass.  My gratitude for her opening my mind up the unbelievable will not pass.  To this day I find myself day-dreaming about all kinds of things that most people find ridiculous.  I may not have seen 99% of the things I believe are possible, but I still believe.

Grandma Jesus gave me one lasting gift and that is the ability to have faith.  I am sure she would have wanted my faith to have been in a god or in Catholicism specifically, but I do cherish my faith.  Anyone who knows me knows that my faith is unshakable, just like hers.

I sincerely hope that my memories of the past and the memories I am yet to make will feel real.  Other than family and friends, what else do we really have?

Recently, as you may or may not be aware, I was in Chicago doing a show.  I was there with my buddies Tom Simmons and Billy Wayne Davis to do our weird and strange comedy show “Kooks.”  We did not know really anything about the podcast when we agreed and even when we went to do it as is the case with many podcasts.  You just never really know what you’re getting into and that is half the fun of doing them.

We cover all kinds of weirdness and then we get serious for about 3 seconds and then start being foolish again.  I think you will find that the topics we covered are right up your alley if you enjoy coming to this website and enjoy some of the same things I do out on the fringe of the news and the fringe of social circles.  Life is way too short to be always worrying about the normal stuff.  It is great and fun to go overboard and down the rabbit hole if you keep your sense of humor about it.

There are some commercials at the beginning and throughout the episode, but here’s a hint:  you can skip ahead!  Hooray!  Unless you enjoy listening to them, then feel free.  And my apologies to anyone old enough to be offended by a misplaced reference I used as a joke in this podcast.  Everyone knows your generation was awesome and I did not try to give some of that awesomeness to a different group of people.  My schedule is updated, too!

You should see my schedule as I have added a lot of dates opening for Marc Maron around the country at some pretty radical places that I have yet to perform.  So, I am looking forward to those dates and will be moving out west to Los Angeles in one month from now.  I am looking forward to living where I no longer need an ice scraper again, it has been way too long.  Also, will be (fingers crossed) filming a new web series in the next coming days and hope to have the episodes start going live before I leave for California.

Here’s the link to the podcast:  http://ryebreadradio.com/post/5378624629/ryebread-radio-episode-44

The Kooks are back and are alive again!  I mean, we are live again.  Tom Simmons, Billy Wayne Davis and I are bringing our bizarre and crazy comedy who to Cincinnati and Chicago the first week of May. The above is just a short promo video of some of what the show will cover. You can’t make sense of the video above? Good. We are trying to make sense of the crazy world that surrounds us and the mixed messages we receive from all of our supposedly legitimate sources.

Kooks is based on the assumption that once you lose your sense of humor about what you believe in, you no longer have the ability to effectively communicate those ideas. Don’t take yourself so seriously and then maybe, just maybe you can have a positive impact on the world and other people around you.

May 4th – Kooks Live at Go Bananas Comedy Club

May 6th – Kooks Live in Chicago

Bring your tin foil hats and your open minds to this show and you just may leave not knowing anything that you thought you once knew. The goal is to have a few laughs as we travel down the road to enlightenment.